john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
