i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
