i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
