wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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