btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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