apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
