I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So many bounce houses so little time
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
