like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
