Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
