Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
