it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
