She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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