take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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