I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
