I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
