And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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