Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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