I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
