I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
