you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
