i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
