I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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