my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
