Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
