I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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