What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize