Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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