Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
