u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
