I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
