can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
