i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
