I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
