this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
