he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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