What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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