theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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