if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
