why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I puked a lego.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He passed out mid-signature
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
