You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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