I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
