I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
