My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
