Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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