Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
