Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
