totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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