My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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