my vag is so smooth its legendary
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
