We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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