ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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