marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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